On Homesickness

I think I’m a bit of an expert on homesickness at this point. After all, Oakwood was home for 18 years, and since then, I’m not sure I’ve ever really been home since. Oh, there were visits and summers, but for the last six years, anywhere I’ve been has been temporary, whether it was Maryland, Texas, or Atlanta. When my parents moved to Atlanta while I was in study abroad, it made visits back to Ohio that much less like coming home.

I have to say, I started to feel like UMD was home. I was in my element in college, and I had a great group of friends to rely upon. So most of college, I wasn’t homesick. I was definitely homesick when I got there, though. Why would I pick up and go so far away when I could have just stayed somewhere in Ohio and had at least a few friends to start with? My choice to go to Maryland was just the first of many choices that demonstrate something that is always in my mind:

It would be so easy to live a boring life.

Going to UMD made me find friends I hadn’t known since preschool. Working in Texas made me find new friends, and it also forced me to spend a lot of time just with myself. Going to Toulouse, studying engineering in French, challenged me to become bilingual, to stretch my intellectual capabilities. But by far the biggest leap I’ve taken was joining Peace Corps.

At Maryland, in Texas, in Toulouse, I often felt homesick in the beginning. It was normal, it was growing pains. Then I adapted to my new world, found my stride, and never looked back.

Peace Corps hasn’t been that comfortable. I felt the normal homesickness in the beginning, the craving for mom’s food and conversations with friends. The feel of sleeping in my own bed and waking up to a predictable world. Then, things started to get more familiar and routine during training. And then, of course, it was time to move again. This time, this move, was further away from anything resembling home, that I expected my homesickness to stick around longer than normal.

In some ways it did, and in some ways it didn’t. I think I adapted pretty well to my site. I have my routines and my friends, my market ladies, my gas station treats. I think I was a fairly capable teacher, too, within the context of the Guinean education system. But I have never hit my stride. I have never reached my element. I confess, I am not thriving in Peace Corps.

Oh, I wouldn’t trade this for the world. And I have good times. I’m just saying that I am trying to be the best version of myself in this situation, and I am failing. I hate failing. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t fail. I fail so rarely or so minimally that sometimes it feels like I must be able to do anything if I just try hard enough. I am trying. I am failing. When people in my town tell me that I should stay another year, I joke that I can’t because my mother would cry (you would, right, mom?). But really, I can’t stay, because I can’t do this for another year. I can do it for 3 more months, and I will, and in that way, I will have “succeeded” in Peace Corps. I find myself struck by terrible homesickness, for the entirety of my service, where I just wish I could be in a familiar, comfortable place. I wish I could be at home. I’m not even sure where home is. It’s the homesickness that tells me I haven’t truly succeeded here. I am walking a mile in what is only approximately a Guinean’s shoes, and I can’t do it.

Enormous amounts of the world’s population lives a life thousands of times less opulent than mine. Women all over the world are hit on by strangers every day of their life. (Don’t worry about me, it only happens weekly and I just learned how to say “Your dick is small” in Susu.) Many of my friends and neighbors live with illness and pain and disfigurement, with no treatment, and yet manage to lead full lives.

It’s pretty damn humbling to fail at something you are doing on purpose, when others with no choice carry their burdens so well.

You could say that my life is trying. Or difficult. Or challenging. Good things, too, like rewarding and surprising and enlightening. You could say I’m having trouble. You could say my life is tough, at the moment.

But you could never, ever, not in a million years, say that my life is boring.

WORLD MALARIA DAY

Today, all over the world, people are talking about Malaria. Want to sound like you're in the know? Be part of the cool crowd? Here's what you need to know:

Malaria is a life-threatening disease caused by parasites that are transmitted to people through the bites of infected mosquitoes.

In 2010, malaria caused an estimated 660 000 deaths (with an uncertainty range of 490 000 to 836 000), mostly among African children.

Malaria is preventable and curable.

Malaria mortality rates have fallen by more than 25% globally since 2000, and by 33% in the WHO African Region.

Malaria is transmitted exclusively through the bites of Anopheles mosquitoes

Fever, headache, chills and vomiting are often the first symptoms of malaria

The best available treatment is artemisinin-based combination therapy (ACT).

Insecticide-treated mosquito nets (ITNs) and Indoor spraying with residual insecticides are two forms of vector control to reduce transmission

There are currently no licensed vaccines against malaria or any other human parasite.

Source: WHO

Now that you've got the down-low...go and spread your knowledge! Be sure to tell me about any World Malaria Day activities you do! For my part, I'll be giving Malaria Lessons in both my classes, and we'll be doing bednet relays during recess!

What did you do today to vanquish Malaria?

Well, I (inshallah, as all plans are) have traveled to a friend's site, where Peace Corps Volunteers will be going head to head with village soccer players in a match of epic proportions. Although, the soccer field will be of very small proportions. We'll be playing on a miniature field at their Centre Culturel, all the better to bring out the people for the novelty of seeing lots and lots of fotes failing miserably at soccer. Or not. We're scrappy. We could win.

The soccer match is just the big draw. The real guts of the day are the sensibilisations that we've given in the school of 1800 students, the targeted talks given to market ladies, and the theater piece by a local group during half-time. For even greater coverage, we've told the local radio of our efforts. And that's not even the biggest event we have planned! Muahahaha we shall defeat malaria! (and the other regions in this contest)

I can't wait! It will be great to do sensibilisations as a team, and I'm sure our Susu sensibilisations in the market will be quite entertaining.

Stay tuned for some pictures! (Dependent on internet access)

Malaria Month!

This April, all over Guinea, nay, all over Africa, PCVs are working to Stomp Out Malaria. What does that mean? It means we're holding awareness raising bike rides, soccer games with malaria education half-time shows, malaria classroom lessons, home visits to teach bednet cleaning and use, and many many more activities. Our brilliant Malaria Coordinator, Sean, has made malaria month into a contest between regions in Guinea, which has really lit a fire under our bottoms to get out the word. It should have been in conjunction with a nation-wide bednet distribution campaign, but unfortunately for my region, the funds didn't come through in time, so we'll have to wait til June to get bednets in our communities. Nonetheless, Basse Cote really came together to plan some activities that we really hope can bring change to our communities.

Why does it matter? You might ask this question because you don't know how big of a problem malaria is. Or you might ask this question because you know just how widespread malaria is, and you can't believe a month-long campaign could make much of a dent.

For the first crowd: Malaria is a huuuuuge problem in Guinea, and in Africa as a whole. The statistics in Guinea are very poorly tracked and defined, but the picture that emerges is pretty clear. A large portion of our Guinean friends and colleagues have had malaria or le palu as it's called here, many many times. It's like the flu in America. Teachers in the US may find partially empty classrooms and the reason is "the flu". Teachers like me find half empty classrooms here, and the reason is le palu (even though it probably wasn't diagnosed, and it most likely isn't being treated as it should be). In Africa as a whole, the effect on high-risk populations (pregnant women, children, and people living with HIV/AIDS) is stunning. In pregnant women, "[m]alaria in pregnancy increases the risk of maternal anaemia, stillbirth, spontaneous abortion, low birth weight and neonatal death", according to WHO. Every 30 seconds, a child dies of malaria. Hold up, wait a second---malaria is a treatable, preventable disease and two children die PER MINUTE because of it.

That's a big problem in my world.

For the second crowd: Yes, 103 volunteers in a country the size of Oregon can't change culturally-embedded values and beliefs in the course of a month. But we must start somewhere, and how better to motivate a group of mostly young Americans--competition! So we've been trained up and sent back to our communities, full of ideas and activities that we hope will empower our friends and family here to modify their behavior in a way that stops the malaria transmission cycle and cuts down on the needless death, illness, and economic loss that comes with malaria. Do we think that every person we speak to will heed our call and immediately change their behavior, avoiding malaria for the rest of their lives? No. But change is slow, and that's OK. Our hope is with this intense period of activity in the "Fight Against Malaria" (direct translate from French), we can have a jumping off point for the impact of Peace Corps Volunteers in Guinea.

What can I do? Great question! Malaria is a global problem. All of you can help in the fight against malaria by donating to organizations working on the ground, by educating yourself and others about the realities of malaria, and by organizing World Malaria Day events on April 25.

Donations: It's very hard to get donations specifically to Guinea, but 2 great organizations for all of Africa are:
Against Malaria
Malaria No More

Education:
Follow my blog! (and tell others to!)
Follow @StompM_Guinea and @StompOutMalaria on Twitter (please let me know if you do!)
Like "Stomp Out Malaria" on Facebook (Again, let me know please!)
Read all the BAMM 2013 (Blog About Malaria Month) blogs here

Organize:
Search the web to find World Malaria Day events near you! Do you have a community group or classroom that might not know about World Malaria Day? Take 15-30 minutes to tell them more about this global issue and join in the fight! If you do, let me know, and I'll feature your activities here on my blog, and you'll get a shout-out by Stomp Out Malaria Guinea!

Malaria is a treatable, preventable disease that kills millions every year. Do your part to stop the needless loss that malaria causes.

Winding Down

As crazy as it sounds, by the time this is posted, I will have less than 5 months left at site. It means that it's go time! For my library project, which will be under construction (or is by now I hope). For my classes, which have always been a struggle to keep up to speed, but it's getting down to the wire. For the world map project I'm doing this month and the malaria projects I'm doing next month. It means it's starting to be "lasts": the last visit to the Boke house, the last lake trip, the last of all the things that are my routines. It means that I'm desperate to be done, but so unprepared to leave behind my family and friends here. It means that I will be pissed if the political instability spirals out of control and changes my Peace Corps timeline, which is a possibility with legislative elections in a mess. It means 3 more months of writing on the chalkboard with my left hand. It means it's time to look for jobs in mechanical engineering, a field that I haven't done anything technical in in two years (hint, hint, help me find a job!). It means figuring out what I take with me.

I know that I'll take with me a better understanding of the world, a clearer picture of poverty, a more realistic view of development projects. I'll never forget starry nights, or laughing with my host family, or spinning the kids in my compound around until my arms hurt. I'll keep the memories of the sweaty days (and nights) and the thumping music and the spicy food. I'll come home with a clearer picture of who I am and who I want to be. Maybe not in career terms, but in more important ways, I think.

I still have a lot of work to do before I feel like I've left anything that valuable here.

Girl's Day

On Friday, March 8, I made a special trip to my school to celebrate International Women's Day with the girls at the Lycee. I usually don't teach on Fridays, so first I made a stop at the gas station for cookies and then the roadside juice baggie sellers for jinjam and bissap. There are 20 girls in my school of approximately 150 students. My plan was to congratulate them on making it to high school, pass out snacks, pass out cadeaux, and then make a sign celebrating their identities as female Guinean high school students.

For the seniors, I used pens that my parents brought with them. They have pretty swirly designs on the outside, and the seven of them were really excited to get them. I still see them using them every day in school! And all the boys are sooo jealous. For the rest of the girls, I just gave them regular pens, which isn't that great of a present in my way of thinking, but they seemed happy and it was a school-related gift, after all. Plus, even though 500 francs is just monopoly money to me, it's not negligeable to them.

Once everyone had their presents and were happily eating the sugar-blasted snacks I brought, I told them we were going to make a sign that said "Nous travaillons pour nos futurs. Nous sommes:" (We are working for our futures. We are:) and then list the characteristics that they believe best describe them. This is where the whole thing could have flopped. I could just imagine them looking at me with confusion or boredom. But instead, when I gave them a few examples of what I was looking for, they took off! In no time at all, we had made a draft on the board of what we wanted to write.

It was especially fun to write the feminine plural form of all of the adjectives. In French, if there's so much as one male involved in a group, all of the conjugations in plural remain male. So for their entire lives at school, when students are being described, the male version is always used. It made me really happy to use those girly words! French is a sexist language, I swear.

I asked the girls who wanted to write on the big sheet of paper I brought, but they all told me I should write. I was OK with that because, well, my students can sometimes take forever trying to make everything just right. They picked the colors of sharpies I used though, and directed me in the placement of the words.

At this point the boys came back from break and made us change classrooms because of their whining. So we did, and I had the girls sign the paper. Then we took pictures!

Seeing the finish line

I currently have five and a half months left of my Peace Corps service. Crazy! Time flies, as my students would say. In some ways, having such little time left has made me incredibly grateful for the moments I've had, like the soccer game I got to play in the other day, the big-ups from the cute kids across the street, and hanging out with my family.

On the other hand, it makes me antsy to get home and start dreaming about new directions! It doesn't help that I'm in pain pretty consistently every day from my arm/wrist problems. I can't WAIT to finish teaching! But more so I can't wait to come home and see all the people I've been missing for two years, who are spread out across a huge country! I can't wait to start applying for real jobs that could lead to a career. To see my nieces for more than a few days. To catch up on TV and movies and technology. Sometimes it's hard not to daydream too much, especially when my kids are mouthing off or don't seem to care about their futures.


In other news, Conakry has been kind of a mess recently. There was a planned march last Wednesday, with a planned "ville mort" (closed up city) on Thursday. Both days spiralled into violence with rocks being thrown, shots being fired, teargas, etc. Even more unfortunately, the violence became ethnically motivated (to my understanding) and continued on Friday and Saturday. I can't figure out whether or not to be concerned. On one hand, protests and violence are not abnormal. On the other hand, it seems like we might be approaching a boiling point. We'll just have to wait and see and stay safe, which is why I'm leaving early today to go back to site. Whew. I was here receiving a malaria prevention training. Just wait til April! You'll be hearing from me about malaria ALL the time.